Weblog

Friday, 13 February 2009



  • God has shown me the lady whom He chose for me.

    I don't know how to say that in a way that doesn't sound cheesy and yet puts all the right nouns in the right places relative to the verbs...

    Over the Christmas break, He really revealed a lot to me about His will for me and one of the teachers here in Japan, an American lady named Shayna Price.

    First of all, I was in love with her long before I'd admit it to myself. She is so my perfect compliment, and we have so much in common. In fact, it's a little freaky just how many (thousands!) little 'coincidences' God threw in there to get my attention. So it all fit long before my head caught up with it. That said, here's the path my head took:

    A few weeks before Christmas, at the Sunday morning Bible study we English teachers lead, God spoke to me. There wasn't any audible voice or anything, but get a load of this: we were in Genesis 34 (Dinah and the Schechemites, I know... ew.), and while waiting for the study to get started, I happened to glance down at the page. One verse jumped out at me- verse 12. Part of it says "make the price for the bride". I happened to be sitting right next to miss Shayna (for crying out loud!) PRICE. And, I had actually tried to NOT sit by her, because people had been assuming some very gossip-y and un-trusting things about us that week (not that we'd done anything). But there was only one seat available when I went in the room- right by the most beautiful girl around. Lucky me!

    I glanced and saw that one line from the verse, and felt so strongly that God was telling me something through it. I felt it in my spirit, I guess, but my mind was trying to back up from it, like "What? Some random verse? Out of context, even? This is far too simple and can't mean anything..." But God can't be held back or denied, and I just couldn't not deeply know that this was something serious. So my brain made a last-ditch effort to be 'rational', and I decided, "OK, if this is the verse that I'm asked to read, then it means what I feel (hope!) it means." As soon as I did, I felt bad for thinking it, but I also felt God basically saying "Fine. You asked for it, you'll get it. I want you to KNOW."

    We take turns, going around the circle, reading a verse at a time, and I was at the end of the reading circle, and I didn't know how many people were there, and the leader was skipping random verses. There was no way for me to count it out, but when it came turn for me to read- BAM! Verse 12.

    The End.

    It is FINISHED.

    I read it. And I knew.

    THEN I had to talk to her parents... I hadn't had a single serious conversation with them at all, and maybe 2 minute-long hello's in the background of one of Shayna's video conversations with them. And the very first thing they'd be getting from me was "Hi, I just heard God tell me to marry your daughter." Well, don't ever say I'm short of guts- that's just what I did. And Shayna's dad could easily break all of us in half. He's an Army Medic.

    All I can say is- "wow". They instantly responded with joy and peace and prayer, and really cemented everything. God was speaking to them as well about us. They had been praying about her and me for a while, and they both but individually felt super excited and joyful about us, already! Her dad wrote me the most heartbreakingly beautiful reply, and told me he had peace about it all, and to go after her.

    So on January 11th, I told her everything. She had been really confused about everything up until that point, but my words, and her parent's, settled everything- answered her fears, all of them, perfectly. She responded so perfectly that everyone, she, her parents, and I, we all could see exactly that God was doing all this. So then WE knew.

    And now YOU know.

    So, to sum it all up- I'm getting married. I don't know exactly when, nor where, but I know exactly who.




Wednesday, 24 December 2008

  • My First Funeral




    In the church here there's a lady named Mrs. Kohori. She's one of my two volunteer Japanese teachers. She has a son named Eishu who's in the first grade. We wrestle a lot. He's a blast.

    Two days ago, Eishu and his father, a man I've never met, were riding bikes to the train station. His dad said he felt really tired, and it must have been bad enough to bother Eishu, because he called his mom, who went to meet them. Somewhere along the line an ambulance was called, and the father lost consciousness. They all rode to the hospital.

    Turns out, the father had a heart attack. He was about 45. In the hospital, they discovered that most of his heart had died, and a large part of his brain. He never woke up, and about 3 the next afternoon he died.

    In Japanese, there's actually a word for "working so hard one dies." That's what happened. This man, Eishu's dad, worked so much that his body quit. That's the culture here for businessmen. I've heard a group of businessmen talking about a departed friend who worked himself to death, and they spoke about him fondly, and mused at such a death as though it were worth aspiring to.

    Now my teacher, a stay-at-home housewife and mom, is a widow with a son and a sudden need to start working and supporting her family. Now Eishu won't have a father to grow up with. And now both of them will never see Christmas the same again. The funeral is tomorrow, on Christmas Eve. And the dad died on Mrs. Kohori's birthday.

    I went to the wake, or the viewing, or whatever it's called today. It was long, oppressive, and sad. I've never had to wear all black before. The church is small, and so many people came that I wound up having to spend the whole time upstairs, in a back closet with some of the kids, trying to keep them quiet and entertained. A lot of them knew things weren't right with the grown-ups, and some of the younger boys flocked around me and had me read them books and give them attention and contact.

    Please pray for the Kohori family. Please pray for our church. This is the most tragic thing that anyone can remember happening. Please pray for Eishu. And please pray for me- I am something of a brother/father figure to most of the kids at church, and I only learn how very much I am not enough to fulfill that role.





Monday, 15 December 2008

  • Currently
    The Big O: Anime Legends Complete Collection
    By Big O
    see related

    Leadership / Servanthood




    I'd like to extend an invitation to you. Please read the following thoughts and questions, and then allow them to sink deeply into you to either challenge or bring out answers and advice.

    Lately, I have been thinking a lot about leadership and service. I think that I am most likely to serve, rather than lead, and I feel like I don't have a very clear idea of what true leadership really is. Maybe it's far easier for me to sit back and observe and pick up on a few simple needs and try to meet them. I don't feel like I've ever strongly led anything or anyone. And lately, God has really be pushing me and poking at me and pestering me and driving me to figure out what, exactly, leadership is, and to start doing it.

    I think I should confess, that in addition to the aforementioned easier path, I am far too passive and reactive, and not nearly initiatory enough. I don't like that, and am no longer willing to remain there.

    All that said, I know that service is vitally important, and not even on levels as deep as the identity of a christian. I am not looking to be any less of a servant- in fact, I think that becoming more of a leader will make me much more of a servant, and better. I think that even my service is too blase and simple, and I spend far more time and energy doing unnecessary and ultimately unfruitful things than I should.

    So, here are my questions- my requests for help and perspective and advice.

    What is leadership?
    What does it look like for a man, called by God, to lead others? To lead a church, to lead Christians, to lead his wife, to lead people to Christ?
    Where is the line between arrogance and assurance? Between the pressure to have all the answers and dependency on Christ?
    How does an incomplete person with a limited ability lead others?
    How do leadership and service fit together? Where are they the same, and where are they different?
    What are the most important factors for both leaders and servants?
    What advice can you give me, specifically, inasmuch as you know me and my strengths and weaknesses? And feel free to list out those weaknesses- as I have been reminded lately, I am not always aware of them.

    I need some iron to sharpen my own. If you're a man, married, living part of the life I am headed toward someday, leading a family or business or community, tell me what you know. If you're a woman, looking for leadership, looking for someone to serve and to serve you, tell me what you need. Tell me what I should be doing.

    Thanks for the thought, and I hope that this sparks some deeper introspection that helps you as well.




Wednesday, 05 November 2008

  • Currently Listening
    Vices
    By Dead Poetic
    see related



    "Judge yourself, O man, and you’ll need not ever judge another.

    Judge yourself, O man; make yourself all you are meant to be, and all others will see a man as he should be, and begin to judges themselves.

    All we are and are meant to be is a gift we receive from God. When we judge ourselves and become true to His desire, we fulfill our obligation to God’s heart.

    Live well, O man, and judge yourself, for in such a way you serve not yourself, but God."




Monday, 18 August 2008